


Ready Check /no

by alluthebird (legarevirtuoso)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chatting & Messaging, Crack Treated Seriously, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Video Game Mechanics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-05-29 21:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6394534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legarevirtuoso/pseuds/alluthebird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the sky breaks, something will slip through the cracks.</p><p>MGiT Prompt #1<br/>Otherwise known as the story of the guild KnightsOfNi, an eclectic bunch of casual gaming weirdos who are transported to Thedas in the wake of the Breach, and the adventure of a lifetime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: RaidChat Log #1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on moderngirlinthedas's Prompt #1
> 
> I'm waiting to progress on my primary fic project, so I've started this one in the meantime. Behold my version of fun. A full, colorful, cast of twenty-four main characters! The goal is to have each chapter set from one individual POV with interspersed chat log intervals. We're working on the logic that an app exists on phones that is comparable to FireChat and Discord, which is in turn amplified in range by the weirdness of the Breach and a few things we'll get into later. 
> 
> I have made up these gamertags based on various common trends in player names. If you see one that is familiar, sorry I am not sorry.

**[2016-01-01, 0:01:35 AM]** **DarkWolf007 says >>** Hey, is anybody on?

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:03:05 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx says <<** wtf just happened

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:03:35 AM] akatsuki says <<** dafuq this shit???

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:04:00 AM] 1337elite says << ** gais gais

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:10:02 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx says <<** there is a hot dude in armor who doesn’t speak english what do

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:12:31 AM] akatsuki says <<** flash your tits

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:20:10 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx says << ** fuckthat

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:22:05 AM] SpaceCowboy1984 says <<** Run!

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:22:15 AM] DarkWolf007 says >>** Run!!

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:24:42 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx has disconnected.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:25:00 AM] Attempting to resolve the hostname in DNS.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:26:00 AM] Connection lost.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 0:45:00 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx has been kicked from server due to inactivity.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:00:22 AM] Kaguya_Hime says <<** what was that?!?

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:30:15 AM] SpaceCowboy1984 says <<** Shit. Sound off kids.

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:35:19 AM] DarkWolf007 says >>** Wolf here, present and freaking out

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:36:12 AM] MamaMayhem says <<** Mom’s here, anybody know what’s going on?

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:37:30 AM] akatsuki says <<** yo, i’m here.

 

 **[2016-01-01, 1:40:26 AM] Kaguya_Hime says <<** i’m scared

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:45:18 AM] 1337elite says << ** Sit tight Kags, we gotcha

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:45:20 AM] MamaMayhem says <<** Don’t worry honey, we’ll get you. Just stay put.

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:46:30 AM] SpaceCowboy1984 says <<** Clear chatter until we’ve got a headcount.

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:47:55 AM] Fallen_Angel_Dream says << ** dragons

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:48:30 AM] FlamingDragon says <<** yeah, I’m here

 

**[2016-01-01, 1:50:55 AM] Fallen_Angel_Dream says <<** no you fuck there’s a dragon chewing my shoe

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:02:17 AM] MageAscension says <<** confirmed

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:05:45 AM] celticwonder says <<** elves???

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:15:20 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx has joined the chat.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:16:02 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx says << ** hid in a ditch lol

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:18:20 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx says <<** thefuckisgoingon

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:19:55 AM] RoguesDoItBest says <<** sky turn green for anyone else?

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:20:36 AM] MageAscension says << ** yup

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:20:40 AM] Kaguya_Hime says << ** yes

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:20:42 AM] SilentButDeadly says << ** idfk but I’m in a sewer

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:20:43 AM] JokesonU says <<** weird church thing for me

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:22:00 AM] Fallen_Angel_Dream says << ** up a tree, dragon is trying to eat me

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:30:02 AM] Fallen_Angel_Dream has sent a video attachment.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:36:58 AM] MamaMayhem says <<** …

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:37:02 AM] 1337elite says << ** that’s a goddamn dragon

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:37:25 AM] RiddleMeThis says <<** how the fuck??

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:38:12 AM] GrumpyCat says <<** does Angel even go outside?

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:48:55 AM] celticwonder has sent a photo attachment.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:50:25 AM] celticwonder says << ** legit have found elves

 

**[2016-01-01, 2:52:35 AM] Merlin says <<** those are cosplayers

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:45:30 AM] Kaguya_Hime has sent a photo attachment.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:46:55 AM] Kaguya_Hime says << ** there are two moons.

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:47:55 AM] Kaguya_Hime says <<** Mom? Where are you?

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:48:00 AM] MamaMayhem says <<** shit.

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:50:00 AM] Lucky_7s says <<** Reprioritze guys, we got a lost kid.

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:51:20 AM] DeusExMachina says << ** Kags, stay calm

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:51:40 AM] SpaceCowboy1984 says << ** We’re going to come get you Kags.

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:51:55 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx says << ** hey, was that a building in that photo?

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:52:02 AM] PenIsMighty says << ** Kags, take a panorama video

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:52:30 AM] RiddleMeThis says << ** ey Mike, you here???

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:52:45 AM] GrumpyCat says << ** Mike we need you lol

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:53:55 AM] akatsuki says << ** wake up gramps

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:55:55 AM] Lucky_7s says << ** anybody else have a really bad feeling?

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:56:00 AM] MikeFoxtrot says << ** Every damn day.

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:57:12 AM] HabeusCorpus says <<** hey Mike, we need you to do that thing

 

**[2016-01-01, 3:58:21 AM] Kaguya_Hime has sent a video attachment.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:00:02 AM] Lemon says << ** Is no one else weirded out by this?

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:01:50 AM] JokesonU says << ** so fucking freaked

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:01:12 AM] MamaMayhem says << ** you got anything on that Mike?

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:01:30 AM] PenIsMighty says << ** that looks like a big ass rock

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:01:52 AM] PenIsMighty says << ** your phone’s shit Bitch

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:02:01 AM] 1337elite says << ** familiar looking rock though

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:03:55 AM] 1337elite has sent a photo attachment.**

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:04:30 AM] MikeFoxtrot says << ** Same rock formation 1337. Can you swing by and pick up Kags?

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:05:12 AM] 1337elite says << ** Sure thing boss! Omw Kags!

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:05:45 AM] Kaguya_Hime says << ** please hurry. I’m scared

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:06:15 AM] MikeFoxtrot says << ** You good for roughing it 1337?

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:06:36 AM] 1337elite says << ** as long as it doesn’t rain, yes

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:15:12 AM] Lemon says <<** hey Kags! Sun’s coming up over here!

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:15:30 AM] Lemon has sent a photo attachment.**

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:16:03 AM] SilentButDeadly says <<** check this shit out Kags

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:17:04 AM] SilentButDeadly has sent a photo attachment.**

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:17:45 AM] HabeusCorpus says <<** Sending a little girl a photo of a dead spider with a shoe for scale, while creative, may actually be the worst method of cheering anyone I have ever seen.

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:18:30 AM] Kaguya_Hime says <<** it’s cool tho XD Really pretty Lemon!!

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:19:18 AM] Lucky_7s says <<** Guys, if his shoe is for scale, why is the spider bigger?

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:20:13 AM] BiscuitHammer says <<** duuuuude that is sick

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:22:01 AM] xXGamerB1tchXx says <<** ffs that’s gross

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:23:01 AM] SilentButDeadly says <<** holy shit this is not a sewer i regret everything

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:24:17 AM] JokesonU says <<** Lemon? Honey? What the fuck does ‘viddathari’ mean?

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:40:26 AM] Merlin says <<** what

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:42:08 AM] MikeFoxtrot says <<** Verify that please.

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:44:26 AM] Lemon says <<** I can’t tell the language. Arabic?

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:45:53 AM] 1337elite says <<** We have bigger problems guys.

 

**[2016-01-01, 4:46:30 AM] 1337elite has sent a photo attachment.**

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:47:03 AM] MamaMayhem says <<** What happened to my baby?!?

 

 **[2016-01-01, 4:48:22 AM] MamaMayhem says <<** WHAT DID YOU DO TO MADELINE?!?!


	2. Diego The Goddamned Explorer #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go on the fun ride. This chapter has been brought to you by a ridiculous loop of the theme song of Go, Diego, Go!
> 
> Game mechanics are going to be abused like no one's business over the course of this, and I promise actual answers to the realism questions will come exactly as the character learn about it. Or if you're impatient, you can always ask.

Diego Rivera was fucked. Not the romantic way, with candles and a nice three course meal where he was wined and dined like the lady he was. Oh no. Diego Rivera was going to be brutally sodomized. He has dropped the soap and is, in fact, a new prison bitch. From now until the end of time, his new name was whatever Mom said it was, and he would take it like a man and  _ like it _ .

 

Madeline and Doreen Fisher were a very nice family. Single mom and her daughter, a really nice lady who made her guildmates actual cookies and shipped them every year for Christmas and her precocious overly intelligent adopted twelve-year old daughter, who played in a pair and God help the idiot who split them up. Diego had only screwed up and called Doreen ‘Mom’ the one time, and she would never live it down.

 

She was going to violate him in a way that would make a censorship board laugh hysterically and crack out the black markers.

 

On the one hand, this was the most adorable thing he had ever seen.

 

On the more important hand, Mom was going to kill him.

 

Diego had not hiked through this overgrown clusterfuck of a forest to be volunteered as tribute to the force of nature that was Doreen Fisher.

 

_ Mom was going to kill him. _

 

His own mother didn’t even fill him with this kind of fear. But then again, at twenty-eight he had long since moved out of his mother’s house and thus didn’t have the pleasure of her constant company any longer. Instead he settled for once a week phone calls and holiday visits. MamaMayhem, otherwise known as Mom to her guild or Doreen to those who wanted to die, was infinitely more terrifying than Sophia Rivera had ever been. For starters, he had never had to watch the combo count and HP bar of his actual mother while she tore what might as well have been the high fantasy equivalent of a chainsaw sword into the pixelated guts of yet another overly large boss monster.

 

There was a sort of kinship between a healer and their tank, a sort of partnership that went beyond words. Mom trusted him, just him, to have her back through the digital hell that was their guild’s primary hobby. Well, it kind of passed ‘hobby’ three patches back. KnightsOfNi had rank, and they had set the pace for three of the multitude of raid builds. They had actually been invited to a televised tournament, which was laughable. A dedicated full raid guild did not a bunch of PvPers make.

 

Well, Madeline did. But Madeline was secretly the Devil’s love-child, so she didn’t really count.

 

Kaguya_Hime took inciting terror to a whole new level in PvP.

 

But then again, you didn’t really tell kids who had had a relapse of leukemia that they couldn’t play a game how they wanted to. If Madeline wanted to spend her time dressing up her avatar in the pinkest and frilliest cash shop items, the KnightsOfNi were all for handing over their credit cards to make it happen.

 

Besides, Diego actually liked Madeline. Morbid kid, but sweet as a button and butter couldn’t melt in her mouth. She called him Uncle Diego when she wasn’t super careful, but he considered it a compliment. So he was kind of glad that he was the one closest to her, aside from her mother.

 

Four hours. No one had figured out what was going on for four hours. The least he could do was trek through a forest and keep a sick little girl from dying from exposure. Or at least that had been the plan.

 

Said plan had died a quiet death when Diego was forced to recognize some things his guild didn’t want to talk about. Stuck in a sewer? Sure. Up a tree because a dragon was there? Hysterical. The fact that he had somehow woken up with a strange niggling feeling in the back of his mind that this was beneath him? Standard reaction to being in a newbie area.

 

The way his gauntlets shone in in starlight?

 

How the armor pieces clanked together gracefully as he moved?

 

The confidence he felt with the shield on his arm? The mace in his hand?

 

How the neck of his cassock didn’t scratch at his chin?

 

1337elite was a  _ character in a video game _ . Diego Rivera was a  _ computer programmer _ .

 

It didn’t change the fact that he knew without even looking in a mirror that he was wearing the carefully hunted Tier 19 Raid Gear Armor Set <High Priest of Hellfire>. He and the rest of the KnightsOfNi had literally ran the <Hellfire Necropolis> patch raids over and over until every single one of them had gotten every single piece of equipment possible, and then kept on running it just to beat their clear times. The new patch was literally supposed to be out in a week, and it was just good sense to take advantage of holiday breaks before all the kids had to go back to school.

 

So they had kept running the raid when the ball dropped for the New Year and the sky had gone green with a sick crack. It was supposed to be their final run before said kids went to bed, because Mom had put her foot down at them staying up past one in the morning. And Mom was scary good about remembering time zones when it came to kids and their bedtimes. It wasn’t like SpaceCowboy was about to tell Mom to fuck off, not when she got that particular tone out.

 

MamaMayhem’s Mom Voice was the stuff of legend. It helped that she was the only actual mother out of the guild, a fact that Lemon was desperate to change.

 

But it didn’t surprise Diego in the slightest that no one wanted to be the one to up and admit if they had suddenly picked up their toon’s gear. He sure as fuck didn’t want to be the one.

 

So he chalked it up to a temporary mental break and just kept on going. He’d have time to worry about it when there wasn’t a sick little girl’s life on the line.And it was laughable that a skinny little computer programmer from San Diego who lived in his mother’s garage until he got a real job was the one responsible for keeping a twelve year old alive in the middle of fuck all Egypt. He pushed his glasses up his nose absently as he climbed over a fallen tree, and tried really hard not to think about the fact that something had translated ‘librarian glasses from literally the eighties’ into ‘genuinely part of a raid set’ and still managed to let them function.

 

On the one hand, it made climbing over trees in the dark easier.

 

On the other hand, he would have really appreciated if this clusterfuck had at least come with the fringe benefit of free Lasik surgery.

 

Statistically speaking, he should at least have some benefits of this. There was no way Murphy’s Law had really bitten him in the ass that much. He wasn’t BiscuitHammer for the love of sweet baby Jesus. At least his shield was useful for pushing aside questionable branches and holding them above his head before he got smacked in the face with more foliage than he ever wanted to see in his life. And it turned out that armored boots (he would need to remember to ask Merlin what the fuck he was supposed to call those) were really useful for keeping sharp pointy sticks or what have you from poking him in the soft parts of his foot.

 

He kept the rock oriented at his right and kept moving forward until he saw that pale glow of a phone screen in the dark, manfully ignoring the sad little sobbing sounds he had been hearing for the past half an hour. Diego Rivera was many things, but prepared to deal with little crying girls was not on the list.

 

Madeline Fisher had always been a cheerful little shit of a child. The kind of cheerful shit who giggled her way through the <Fifth Emperor of Heaven> final boss battle, ended their first run as the only survivor, and then called them all old for not picking up on what she considered  _ basic logic _ . Like how a boss mob was  _ supposed to not have marked AoEs _ . Madeline Fisher had single-handedly changed the way the KnightsOfNi played Rifaion World Reborn Online for all time.

 

And it was 1337elite’s absolute pleasure to party with Kaguya_Hime.

 

But Diego was still not equipped to equate the giggling necromancer girl with the crying mess in front of him.

 

Her mother had been perfectly fine with sharing photos of her and her daughter with the guild, and they in turn had been perfectly fine with sharing photos of themselves with each other. It was standard courtesy when one was prone to spending hours on end with the same twenty-three people. Granted, they only really partied like that for raids, but each sub-party formed a friendly sort of banter amongst themselves.

 

Madeline Fisher was a tiny little Japanese girl, bald as a cue ball and with the biggest black eyes. She had made her toon look like an equally tiny little black haired girl, and dyed all of her armor improbable shades of pink and white like a pink magical girl. And that was fine, because it made her happy and it was sort of cute.

 

The girl in front of him had the biggest and pointiest ears he had ever seen, drooping under the weight of her sadness. She sat on a rock with her knees drawn up to her chest, jewel encrusted scepter tossed on the ground like so much useless junk. Some level of Diego wanted to shake the little girl until she showed proper respect to a weapon he had spent literally six hours hunched in a chair for. But the wiser part of Diego, the one that took the reins when he was about to do something extremely suicidal, merely lifted his hand and waved at the little hunched over mess of lace and frills. She mopped at her eyes with the backs of her dainty white gloves and sniffled, her face a mess of snot and tears.

 

Well, shit.

 

When she finally collected herself enough to look at him, the little girl gave a choked giggle. “You look like a gay Mexican goth priest,” she managed between her sobs.

 

“I really don’t want to hear that from a magical girl,” he drawled as he stared right back at her.

 

“At least I don’t look like a pretty boy.”

 

“Your face is ugly enough for both of us.” Diego was not meant to be left alone with minors. He crouched down in front of the girl and did his absolute best to pretend his sanity hadn’t just gone the way of the dodo. “Hey. Smile.” His phone went off with the sudden sound of a quacking duck and a flash of light in the predawn gloom. Diego adjusted his glasses with two gauntleted fingers and tried not to think about how very fucked he was as he swiftly sent the photo through the usual chatroom and tried not to acknowledge the jingle of his phone as it swiftly blew up with notices.

 

Two simultaneous swipes of two sets of fingers silenced the meowing melody of Nyancat and dulcet tones of JARVIS. Two equally confused sets of eyes met across space, and an unspoken accord was reached.

 

_ They were fucked. _

 

The girl buried her face in her knees and her sobbing renewed with a frightening vigor. “Hey, no, let’s not go back to that,” Diego pleaded on bended knees that ached against the damp ground. Funny how there was so little grass under the tree Kags had chosen to hide out under, just a smattering of leaves from the previous season that had since dissolved into a fine mess atop the loam. Which brought a whole new clusterfuck up. Delicate, he had to handle this delicately. “Hey. The fuck do you want me to call you?”

 

_ Delicate like a freight train. _

 

_ Nailed it _ .

 

She giggled again, this time much less brokenly. Diego sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. I’m hilarious.” He ran his hand through his hair, brushing his bangs back from his forehead as he grunted. “I’m not good with kids.”

 

A delicate hand reached out, illuminated by the floating orb of malevolent green and black fire that served as the focus for her <Dreamer of Hellfire> set. She patted his shoulder with a watery grin. “You’re really not. But… Kags. You can call me Kags.”

 

Diego grinned and stuck his hand out for her to shake. “Leet Elite. Nice to meet ya in the flesh as it were. Cleric el eff gee.”

 

“Necro el eff gee. Hardcore party?” She shook on it, a dim vibrating from their phones making them both pause to flick through the notification.

 

<System Notification: 1337Elite [KnightsOfNi] has sent a party invite.>

<System Notification: Kaguya_Hime [KnightsOfNi] has joined the party>

<EXP set to share.>

<Loot set to share.>

 

“Well that’s… something.” It really was something. The lock screen on his phone had somehow changed from his usual image of the cover art of RWRO to what could charitably be called a bastardized version of the party UI. Kags silently raised her phone to show that hers had done similarly. “I am way too tired to deal with this.”

 

She nodded in agreement, pigtails bouncing with the movement and ears perking up slightly. “Leet? Are we dreaming?”

 

He sighed, because there was really no good way to tell a kid that he had no idea what was going on. “You know what. Honestly, I have no idea. How you feeling?”

 

“Not sick,” she grinned toothily up at him. “And that’s awesome.”

 

In hindsight, he should have probably asked how she felt  _ first _ . Before asking what she wanted him to call her or even if she wanted to party up with him. It was with a raid heal’s paranoia that he swiped up the full party list and scanned her for any active debuffs or statuses he needed to be made aware of. Leukemia, surprisingly, was not on the list. Something in him unclenched at a combination of proofs, but something deep in his hindbrain told him he was still in danger of being brutalized. “So… uh… we should probably go find your mom.”

 

“You’re afraid she’s going to beat the snot out of you, aren’t you?”

 

“Damn straight I am.”

 

“You know my mom does bantamweight MMA, right?”

 

“Like Ronda Rousey?”

 

“She’s 5-2 in the local amateur league.”

 

“No shit?” Well that  _ explained so much _ . And Kag’s mom was thus proven to be even more capable of kicking his skinny little tech support ass from here to the Canadian border. He was going to die if even a single little hair on that child’s head was out of place. “We… yeah we gotta go.”

 

Her head tilted as she considered him for a moment that took far too long by his measure. This was the face of the necromancer who pranced through AoEs and dragged the dead out of the aether to fight her battles for her, not the little girl who giggled at cat videos. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference, but a Kaguya_Hime in her raid mindset was a terrifying thing to behold. Terrifying enough that the little hairs on the back of his neck prickled as she sized him up like a cat before a particularly tasty mouse. “Where to, sir?”

 

And that cadence to her voice, that soft lilting whisper, that was all he needed to shove Diego the Computer Guy into a dark corner of his brain and focus entirely on Diego the Gamer. Kags had a plan. Or at least a semblance of one. “Well, figured we’d try for a nice comfy bed and some breakfast. Thoughts?”

 

Brushing off her skirts and fluffy petticoats, she rose to her feet and twirled her scepter in her toon’s usual pre-set idle motion. “There was a road back that way.” Kaguya pointed off to her left, and Diego rose to his feet and rolled his shoulders in response. He felt like a giant next to her, but then again she was a tiny little twelve year old. Diego just wished that her eyes didn’t gleam in the dim light like his mom’s pissy calico did. He had enough bad memories there.

 

Instead he gave a bow that would have made Merlin proud, and clutched his mace in a death grip. “Well then, Your Highness. The game’s afoot.” She laughed at his over the top gesture, and pranced merrily through the dim light her focus gave her. Clearly she could see in the gloom much better than he could, and he had no qualms with letting her take what Mike called ‘point’ on this nature hike from Hell.

 

Or at least he would have, right up until the first hissing giant spider showed up.

 

Really, it was not his day.

 

**Confirmed Survivors:**

**_B Party - Mom’s Squad_ **

**Support** \-  _ 1337elite _ : Class - Cleric, Role - heals, Race- human; Location - Emerald Graves, Dales

**DPS** \-  _ Kaguya_Hime _ : Class - Necromancer, Role - heals and DPS, Race- elf; Location - Emerald Graves, Dales


	3. Sand People Ride Single File #1

He had sand up the crack of his ass. This was a new state of being that, quite honestly, he wasn’t really a fan of. Though in the spirit of honesty, because really he was raised better, he was pretty sure he had sand everywhere. In the further spirit of honesty, there was also sand as far as the eye could see. Because he was in a desert.

Lagi Bautista was from Hawai’i. No, he was not a surfer. No, just because he was a healthy Samoan gentleman did not mean he worked in construction. He was a florist, worked in his aunt’s boutique and tried really hard to ignore his other aunt when she offered to cut his hair in the salon she ran next door. Lagi had sixteen aunts and uncles, mostly by friendship and not by blood, and enough cousins to fill an Olympic swimming pool. Though, he did have a fair few cousins who did enjoy surfing far more than was healthy. He could swim, what true blooded Hawai’ian worth their salt couldn’t, but that didn’t translate a love of the beach to a love of a sea of sand.

Lagi Bautista was not a gamer. He really wasn’t. What he was, if his guild was right, was a casual asshole. But that really didn’t matter.

What did matter was that he was a casual asshole who was good with children and didn’t argue with their party leader.

(Lagi had actually seen a recording of one of Doreen Fisher’s fights, sent to him by her daughter and he tried really hard not think about it. Doreen Fisher could probably beat the dog piss out of him.)

So he was pretty chill about running raids with the KnightsOfNi, because they were just a hilarious bunch of nerds. Random, but good people.

Lagi did not care about said people in the middle of his own private hell. He was an islander. Islander meant ‘person from a small body of land surrounded by ocean’. Islander did not mean ‘capable of surviving in a desert’. It didn’t help that everything was nothing but sand, with sad little collections of scrub grass and weeds randomly about the place.

So yes. This was officially the shittiest day of his life.

And then he tried to wipe the sand out of his beard.

Wait.

Hold the fuck up.

He had a beard?

Lagi Bautista did not have a beard.

Lagi Bautista did not have armor.

Lagi Bautista was not drunk enough for this shit.   
The sand under his feet was warm, just toasty enough to be mildly unpleasant. It was surprisingly warm, considering how all he had to see by was the light of a freakishly huge moon. The moon was huge, made worse by the startling conclusion that there were two moons.

He hadn’t been the best student, maintained his GPA just high enough to scrape by on maintaining his spot on the varsity football team, but Lagi knew damn well that there was only one moon. So obviously one of his cousins had decided to spike his drink with some horrifying psychotropic drugs. This was clearly a bad trip. A very, very bad trip.

His phone rang, to the boss beats of The Boys Are Back In Town.

“Bro.” Lagi didn’t even look at his caller ID, swiping at his relic of a phone with some difficulty. “Bro you would not believe this shit.”

The voice on the other end sighed, their English coming at a faltering pace that Lagi was more than happy to accommodate. “Bro. I can believe.” Lagi’s bro was learning English just to play  this nerd game with the KnightsOfNi, but he was learning the spoken English at a ridiculous rate that Lagi was just ever so proud of.

Maybe it was all the late night calls, the vacations spent split-timed between Seoul and Honolulu. He knew the silhouette of his bro from across a room, the sound of his laugh when he meant it and when he was faking it. So Lagi was pretty confident in his ability to tell when his bro was in some fucked up shit.   
Yang Minho was in some fucked up shit. Bros did not let bros suffer alone.

Lagi was quiet and calm, the kind of quiet he only got when shit needed to be hit until it died, but he could focus. “Bro, you remember that weird ass 911 lady with the pizza order from the chick who was getting beat by her man? Bro, are you having one of those moments?”

“Yes,” came the quiet voice on the other end of the line. A single word and Lagi felt his spine turn to ice as his fingers clenched. Oh. Hell. No.

“Bro, we’re gonna be cool. Man, we got this. You alone?”

“No.”

“These the kind of assholes who are gonna start some shit?” Minho, while an excellent nerdy bro, was not built like Lagi. What Minho was built like was a ridiculous Korean drink of water, what with his hair all fashionable and his nice pressed slacks and shirts. Really, his bro had a fashion game that was on point and a smile that could melt your heart. Minho had even charmed Lagi’s mother and aunts, a feat right next to the second coming of Jesus Christ himself.

Somewhere, deep in the ancestral memory of his DNA, there existed a part of Lagi that was prepared to sling Minho over his shoulder and lock him into a room so the world would never hurt him.

But bros did not do that to bros.

“Yes hyungnim,” came the whisper on the other end of the line.

And Lagi saw red.

His blood boiled in his veins and all he could hear was a pounding beat rushing into his ears. Ah. Someone was trying to hurt Minho. What kind of man would he be if he let his precious Minho be harmed by some third-rate hacks who didn’t even understand the worth of even a single hair on Minho’s head. He was going to seriously hurt these people.

“Breathe, hyungnim. In and out. Breathe with me.”

Ah, he had lost himself there. It was such a good thing that Minho knew him so well, enough to know when the rage got too much and he needed some grounding. Lagi sighed, obediently following Minho’s lead on the other end of the phone.

“Better, hyungnim?”

“Yeah. What’s the plan?” And he was better, calm enough to recognize the cold edge to Minho’s voice that promised unspeakable violence. Lagi would follow that voice into Hell itself if he had to.

“Thou art prepared, Sir Deus?”

There it was. That icy purr that sent his brain plummeting down to somewhere near his stomach. This was the man that set the strategy for Mom’s party, the one who held their violent tendencies in the palm of his manicured hand. And Lagi grinned, teeth glinting white against the darkness of his beard. “I hear and obey.”

“Good. Thine task is simple. Enter Griffon Wing Keep and get this humble one to freedom.”

“And the bastards?”

“Do as thou wilt is the whole of the law.”

“You know bro, you are a sick bastard when you feel like it.”

“This humble one would like to implore thee to be especially cruel to this humble one’s captors.”

“Bro?”

“Be a good dog and annihilate them.”

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has sent a party invite.>

<System Notification: DeusExMachina [KnightsOfNi] has joined the party>

<EXP set to share.>

<Loot set to share.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has shared quest [CONQUER]Griffon Wing Keep.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has shared map [Western Approach] with the party.>

The pinging on his phone was normal, the usual UI of Rifaion World Reborn Online shrunken down to an easy to manage series of apps and tabs on his phone. Lagi didn’t even question the little windows sent by Minho, mindlessly clicking ‘Accept’ with each pop-up.

<System Notification: DeusExMachina [KnightsOfNi] has accepted map sharing.>

<System Notification: DeusExMachina [KnightsOfNi] has accepted quest [CONQUER]Griffon Wing Keep.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has sent a gear set recommendation [LOYAL DOG].>

<System Notification: DeusExMachina [KnightsOfNi] has equipped gear set recommendation [LOYAL DOG].>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has sent a hot bar recommendation [HELLHOUND].>

<System Notification: DeusExMachina [KnightsOfNi] has equipped hot bar recommendation [HELLHOUND].>

This too was normal, because Lagi was nothing if not trusting of Minho’s nerd skills at RWRO. There was even a standard set-up that Minho had drilled into Lagi’s head from their painful level ten newbie days. Equip, buff, steal skills, mount up, attack. Rinse and repeat as necessary. Minho was the master strategist of B Party, and Lagi was just the mindless meat shield who did what he was ordered. Easy enough.

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has used the spell/skill [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

Huh. If that system notification worked, then common sense said that Lagi’s paladin skills worked too. He took a knee in the sand, ignoring how irritatingly warm it was under his armor. What was it that his paladin did to do buff spells? Ah, yes. His sword was slammed point first into the sand and he pressed his helmeted forehead against the impromptu cross of his blade, gauntleted hands clasped in a mockery of a prayer. Please god may this work.

<System Notification: DeusExMachina [KnightsOfNi] has used the spell/skill [[HOLY BARRIER]].>

<System Notification: Party has received effects of  [[HOLY BARRIER]].>

<System Notification: Physical and magical resistance increased by 210% [[HOLY BARRIER]].>

<System Notification: Party has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

<System Notification: [[HOLY BARRIER]] has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

<System Notification: Physical and magical resistance increased to maximum.>

Well, that was easy. The sand cooled almost instantaneously and the distant chime of church bells rung out somewhere above his head, fading as each system notification pinged up on the phone he placed gently on the sand next to him. Easy enough.

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has used the spell/skill [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

<System Notification: DeusExMachina [KnightsOfNi] has used the spell/skill [[HOLY SWORD]].>

<System Notification: Party has received effects of  [[HOLY SWORD]].>

<System Notification: Physical and magical attack increased by 210% [[HOLY SWORD]].>

<System Notification: Party has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

<System Notification: [[HOLY SWORD]] has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

<System Notification: Physical and magical attack increased to maximum.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has set party skill macro [[ASSAULT SHIELD]].>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has sent a party request to HabeusCorpus [KnightsOfNi].>

<System Notification: HabeusCorpus [KnightsOfNi] has joined the party.>

<System Notification: HabeusCorpus [KnightsOfNi] has used the spell/skill [[SHADOW STEP]].>

<System Notification: Party has received effects of  [[SHADOW STEP]].>

<System Notification: HabeusCorpus [KnightsOfNi] has used the spell/skill [ASSASSINATE]].>

<System Notification: Party has received effects of  [[ASSASSINATE]].>

<System Notification: HabeusCorups [KnightsOfNi] is outside the maximum area.>

<System Notification: [[SHADOW STEP]] has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

<System Notification: [[ASSASSINATE]] has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

<System Notification: DeusExMachina [KnightsOfNi] has learned skill <<BACKSTAB>>.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has learned skill <<BACKSTAB>>.>

<System Notification: HabeusCorpus [KnightsOfNi] has been kicked from the party.>

<System Notification: DeusExMachina [KnightsOfNi] has used the spell/skill [[SUMMON PALADIN MOUNT]].>

<System Notification: [[SUMMON PALADIN MOUNT]] has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

<System Notification: [GREATER CELESTIAL WAR NUG] has been summoned.>

That… was different. Usually when he cast that spell it summoned some form of celestial war horse, not whatever a nug was.

Nugs were creepy. Like the kind of creepy that only Kaguya_Hime found cute and everyone else sidestepped away from lest the inherent creepiness rub off like syphilis. But if this weird thing was his mount, who was Lagi to argue against the strange bastard child of a gorilla and a naked mole rat? It even came to his side with the usual game sounds of even more ethereal church bells, because what else could possibly signify an inherently divine nature but church bells. The weird thing had hands. Actual hands. With opposable thumbs. What. Even. Was. His. Life.

It was white. Blindingly white in a sea of sand like dirt couldn’t stick to it if you tried. “Minho? Bro?”

“Yes hyungnim?”

“On a scale of one to ten, how badly do you want the people in this keep to die?”

“Fifteen. These cretins have dared to lay their hands upon the majesty of this Merlin. Thou must make these cretins suffer a thousandfold.”

There were no words for how upset Minho was. Lagi’s poor bro was suffering over there, wherever Griffon Wing Keep was, and it was Lagi’s sworn duty to deal with the fools who had actually raised their hands against Lagi’s bro. “Bro, I will save you. Just sit tight. No homo bro, but I got you.”

“This one eagerly awaits thine self. Be swift and merciless in thine vengeance.”

“Right. Ok then, Steve. Uh… Steve the… Greater Celestial War Nug. Ok. I can do this.”

There was nothing for it. He was going to have to ride this handsy gorilla-naked-mole-rat across a desert and assault a castle.

Just for Minho.

Uh… No homo though.

 

**Confirmed Survivors:**

**B Party - Mom’s Squad**

**Tank** \-  _ DeusExMachina _ : Class- Paladin, Role- Off tank, Race- dwarf; Location- Hissing Wastes, Western Approach

**Support** \- 1337elite : Class - Cleric, Role - heals, Race- human; Location - Emerald Graves, Dales

**DPS** \- Kaguya_Hime : Class - Necromancer, Role - heals and DPS, Race- elf; Location - Emerald Graves, Dales

**DPS** \-  _ Merlin _ : Class- Mage, Role- Added Mob DPS, Race- elf; Location- Griffon Wing Keep, Western Approach

 


	4. Dongsaeng is a Bias Ruiner #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I am not sorry. Introducing Yang Minho, AKA Merlin.
> 
> Not sorry. Not sorry at all.

Yang Minho was born with a silver spoon firmly in his mouth. He knew better than anyone else the advantages of being the scion of a chaebol, and yet still he wondered what it would be like without them. At the very least, Minho knew that he would never have met his hyungnim without the benefit of his grandmother’s not inconsiderable coffers.

Well. Lagi said he made it to college on his own. A fact which his hyungnim was very fond of reminding him quite frequently and at various volumes throughout Minho’s most complex emotional struggles. It wasn’t his grandmother who took the entrance exam, it wasn’t his father who held his hand and walked him through his classes every day. That was all Minho.

Lagi Bautista had enough common sense for both of them.

Minho never expected that so much wisdom would come out of the mouth of someone so far below him in economic status, nor would he have expected that a florist of all things would be his deepest and closest friend.

Minho was such a bad dongsaeng.

Here he was, stuck in the pit of the Western Approach, and all he could think about was how relieved he was that Lagi was coming to save him. Him. Yang Minho, eldest and only grandson of Yang Hyun Mi. Heir to the entire chaebol dynasty and all their little offshoot branches.

Lagi. Lagi. Lagi.

Lagi was coming to save him, and that was all that mattered.

He curled up as tightly as he could, fingers dancing across the screen of his phone as he frantically sent out his orders to his ever faithful paladin. Normally tanks picked up healer specializations for primary party members, not a mage snapping up a paladin by merely  _ telling him what to do _ .

‘Merlin’ had been the last to join the KnightsOfNi. He belonged to a guild that had almost nothing to do with what he had joined the game for. Yang Minho had spent hours lurking and learning the lore of the game, practiced his English to the point where he could rattle off Shakespearean in his sleep. He had learned the strategies for party trials entirely by accident, and this unknowledgeable paladin had been in desperate need of someone to keep him alive.

_ Thou art my loyal hound, steadfast and true. _

_ You got it bro. _

Merlin may have taken the reins, but it was Deus who ensnared him.

Minho was the worst little brother.

He tilted his head back against the wall, ignoring how the tips of his ears scraped across the rough stone of the fortress. Was it bad of him that all he could think of was how very determined Lagi was to find him? Was it bad that his heart pounded in his ears when all of Lagi’s world narrowed down to the sound of his voice? Was that not what a little brother should think when his older brother told him in  _ that tone _ that he was coming for him?

The last time Minho had heard Lagi that strict and rough had been when Lagi had invited him to the beach with his family and Minho had somehow forgotten to put on what his hyungnim considered an appropriate amount of sunscreen. And Lagi had told him to drop to his knees.

He couldn’t keep calm with that sort of memory bouncing about in his head.

Minho was  _ the worst _ .

He knocked his head against the wall to try and drive the thought out. Good little brothers did not relish the absolute possibility of their older brothers coming to save them at sword point, screaming the word of the good lord of battle as blood flew like cherry blossoms in a bad drama.  _ Good brothers _ did  _ not _ bite their lips to keep from making a sound.

Right now he didn’t need to be Minho. He needed to be Merlin.

Yang Minho the accounting major did not have a place in the world of Dragon Age.

Yang Minho did not have a place any where under these two moons.

Merlin was looking forward to his faithful dog breaking down the door of this godforsaken cell and getting him out of this absolute cesspool. (Upon closer inspection of the room in question during daylight hours, Merlin was quite pleased to discover he had been locked up at knifepoint in what appeared to be a linen closet.) Until then, he would quite happily make himself comfortable and eavesdrop shamelessly on the pitiful Venatori who had decided to cage a dragon.

It made a much better distraction than his own thoughts, dangerous things that he resolutely shoved back into the darkest corner of his mind.

Anything was better than remembering the stroke of cool hands across his back as his  _ brother _ fussed over his burns.

Tevinters. They had to be. Which meant the green flash across the sky was the Breach. Thus this shithole was under the control of the Venatori and that simply  _ could not be tolerated _ . Minho was not about to sit still and wait for whatever shady entity had managed to become the Inquisitor to maybe come save him. There was no guarantee that the Inquisitor was even the type to go about liberating every Keep under the Thedosian sun. And Minho? Minho was not the sort to  _ bet _ .

Betting was for plebeians.

Well, and for rigged competitions so that he could buy his hyungnim nice things without his hyungnim catching on to the sheer amount of money Minho had at his disposal. Though, now that he had time to contemplate it Minho was fairly certain that the random contest for a new pick-up truck had been rigged by his grandmother, because there was no way Lagi had even signed up for that. The idiot didn’t even know the name of his local newspaper, let alone the address to send in a contest entry.

On the edge of his map, if he scrolled out very carefully, there was the blinking white dot that meant Lagi was almost there. Excellent.

Altus. If he remembered right, that meant that the idiot on the other side of this door was actually something that could be charitably be called Thedas’ answer to a chaebol. Adorable. What was even more adorable was how some ridiculous shemlan mages thought that a drought of magebane would actually do something to a mage as obviously powerful as Merlin was. Really. Was this supposed to be a joke? Because it sounded like a joke.

He held his phone against his ear as he calmly reached out with his spare hand to grasp at his staff. Ha. Ha. Really good joke.  _ Magebane _ . His automatic mana point recovery skill from just  _ standing still _ recovered more magic than that weak dose could have ever done. Mentally handicapped shemlan should not be in charge of anything remotely resembling something important.

Fucking. Stupid.  _ Shemlan _ .

“Merlin?” Lagi’s unruffled voice wasn’t enough to calm the rage that gripped at his heart. No. This was completely unexcusable. “Mer-  _ Minho! _ ”

He sighed into his phone, eyes scrunched tight as he balanced his staff over his knees and determinedly tried to pretend it wasn’t terrifying that as long as he stopped thinking he could operate like a  _ real mage _ . “Lagi. I am going to try something.”

His hyungnim laughed, the rough gravel causing Minho’s ears to twitch and his spine to shiver. Oh. That was dangerous. “Bro, go for it.”

“Stay there.” He pulled himself to his feet with the assistance of the staff he had pulled from thin air. “This may… get a little dangerous.”

“Don’t do anything that you’ll regret, Minho.”

He had to take a breath and pray wordlessly to whatever god would listen. “Don’t… don’t call me that.” Not with that  _ concern _ and that tired rasp. Don’t call his name like that, never like that. Minho didn’t know what he would do if his hyungnim, if Lagi, called him that across the desert and he couldn’t answer. “I… will be as safe as I possibly can be.”

These shemlan needed to  _ die _ . To insult a scion of the Yang chaebol and to cause his hyungnim such distress, to keep him captive in a  _ linen closet _ … to call him knife ear where he could still hear them. No. For these things he would burn the lot of them.

Minho was not aware that the magic circle was something that could be seen from the ground. Or at least he wasn’t aware until Lagi’s breathing stopped and the sky turned impossibly dark. Everything stopped, as it should. “Minho  _ no!  _ Don’t you dare do this to me Minho I swear to God bro-”

No. A dog did not have the right to tell its master to do anything. He hung up the phone and focused his attention where it needed to go: burning the pattern of his will into the very clouds above the Western Fortress.

<System Notification: Merlin[KnightsOfNi] has used the spell/skill [[METEOR]].>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi]has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>

<System Notification: Merlin  [KnightsOfNi] has received effects of  [[HOLY SWORD]].>   
  
<System Notification: Physical and magical attack increased by 210% [[HOLY SWORD]].>   
  
<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>   
  
<System Notification: [[HOLY SWORD]] has received effects of  [[AMPLIFY MAGIC]].>   
  
<System Notification: Physical and magical attack increased to maximum.>

<System Notification: <<GRIFFON WING KEEP>> has been set as [IMMORTAL OBJECT].>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI ZEALOT] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI ZEALOT] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI ZEALOT] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI ZEALOT] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI ZEALOT] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI ZEALOT] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI ZEALOT] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI SPELLBINDER] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] hits [VENATORI ZEALOT] for 999999 damage.>

<System Notification: Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has earned the title [AIN SOPH AUR].>

<System Notification: Ain Soph Aur Merlin [KnightsOfNi] has equipped the title [AIN SOPH AUR].>

“Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Minho.” Minho cradled his phone against his ear, humming slightly as he sat back down and calmly reached for the top buttons on his armor. He tried not to touch the walls, careful to avoid anything that glowed red hot or put off steam. “What the hell was that?  _ Bro you dropped a meteor on them. _ ”

Minho juggled his staff and his phone between his hands as he stripped down and flopped on a pile of carpets. He might actually need to take a nap while his mana slowly climbed back up to their optimum level, but it was always good to know that it was still completely possible to cast the level 100 ultimate spell of his class. Even better to know that somehow he could still  _ set his targets _ on a  _ meteor _ . “Mmm… that was the idea hyungnim.” Minho’s bones felt like they had gone soft and all he wanted to do was take the longest nap of his life.

“... Bro? Did you just… uh… bro did you just…”

“Lagi. Shut up.” It was hot enough that any sort of sweat evaporated into salt on his skin, and he really didn’t feel like addressing any sort of elephant in the room while his chest was bare to the noon sun. “Aigoo… This dongsaeng is done.”

Lagi laughed, causing Minho’s breath to hitch as he tried not to shiver. “Bro, you did good. My turn now. Take a break, bro. I got this.”

“Ah hyungnim, fighting!” He tried to put his best into it, but he was too tired to care much beyond sticking his staff back where it came from and waving a hand idly at the idiot Altus that burst into the linen closet. “Oh look. The shemlan are offended.”

“I’ll kill ‘em all for you bro.”

Strange how that was actually reassuring. Or at least it would have been if Minho had been awake long enough to hear it.

 

**Confirmed Survivors:**

**B Party - Mom’s Squad**

**Tank** \-  _ DeusExMachina _ : Class- Paladin, Role- Off tank, Race- dwarf; Location- Hissing Wastes, Western Approach

**Support** \- 1337elite : Class - Cleric, Role - heals, Race- human; Location - Emerald Graves, Dales

**DPS** \- Kaguya_Hime : Class - Necromancer, Role - heals and DPS, Race- elf; Location - Emerald Graves, Dales

**DPS** \-  _ Merlin _ : Class- Mage, Role- Added Mob DPS, Race- elf; Location- Griffon Wing Keep, Western Approach


End file.
